"Tell me about yourself" is a most famous behavioral interview ice-breaker. Two-third of our life is spent consciously and every moment of this awake state, a dedicated background process is doing just identity management.

தன்னை அறியத் தனக்கொரு கேடில்லை
தன்னை அறியாமல் தானே கெடுகின்றான்
தன்னை அறியும் அறிவை அறிந்தபின்
தன்னையே அற்சிக்கத் தானிருந் தானே.
- திருமூலர்

 the clutches of the illusions are strong until one realizes their true self. Once realized, they'll exactly know everything they ever needed - Thirumoolar

I, self, ego are some of the nouns used to reference our identity. What is this identity? It is how we are identified, recognized and perceived by self and others. It is the role we play in a society. It is something that dissolves everyday at sleep and recrystallizes when awake. Identity only exists in the conscious memory and it is very fragile. Any form of disruption to our consciousness like sleep, intoxication, hypnosis, pain, art and even an emotion ruptures and remolds this identity. There is self-identity, how we perceive ourselves and there is personality, how others identify us.

personality is how we project ourselves and how we are perceived by others and hence it is something of a joint-custody. They have an image about us carved out of the judgement, memory, stereotype or hearsay and hence some expectations. We strive to align with such expectations that are consistent to our past behavior. When we meet an old friend after few decades, we immediately adapt to our then manners, language and even the state of mind. When the current colleague joins, we immediately shuffle back to a much neutral stance. All this happens autonomously.

How much of managing our personality is our responsibility? This personality management is both empowering and at the same time imprisoning. Nobody wants to befriend, support, employ or work for someone who is not consistent in their behavior. Hence establishing a personality and keeping it up, is essential to warrant a sense of security, comfort and support of our patronage. It is all roses and lilies as long as managing specific personality is fueled by corresponding ambition and needs. The imprisonment part kicks in when the fuel runs out and the person is tired of maintaining the persona and seeking out.

The past baggage and the uncertainty it might bring, makes it harder for someone to drop the personalities that they've nurtured for years. This eventually is the biggest hurdle in unearthing and embracing their core nature. Instead they end up spending the rest of the life in keeping up the personality and also take efforts to ensure their identity is untainted even after their demise.

self-identity, ego (அஹங்காரம்) is what we perceive as ourself. Most of us believe that it is our core-nature, but it is not even close. When one thinks about themself, it either fills them with a sense of pride or pity. Eitherways, it is just a projection of our past and comparison to others. True-nature is hidden deep inside the pile of such projections. It takes a very keen mind to analyze it separating itself from the identity. It is an arduous process of continuous dis-identification (vairāgya) with everything that mind can slice and dice and separate it as mere conditioning. When someone embarks on such pursuit and reaches the destination where no more conditioning exists, also know as no-mind and no-self, they are self-realized beings. This beautiful state is very similar to a new born child; with a key difference that the child is bound to lose the paradise soon; while the realized masters consciously wear an identity needed for that hour and drop it at will. Hence, they are bound to be unpredictable and not consistent.

There is abundant energy expelled in managing several such identities that we carry and mutate in the space-time-people continuum. As long are there is ambition and desires lurking in the corner, there is no way and no reason to even think about retracting. After all establishing an identity and managing it is essential in relating with other identities in the society. But, when the desire turns towards knowing our core nature, purpose of life, "who am I?" There are only two ways to get there;

1.) Divine intervention: the divine is always ready and yearning to intervene. But the clouds of identities that we expertly manage are preventing such a blatant trespass. Blessed are those with no strong ties to their identities, personalities and reputation. They are easily absorbed into the path of devotion and attain their liberation.

2.) Self-realization: For others with stronger ties to their established identities, in other words, thicker ego; self-realization is the only way. Enlightenment, wisdom, liberation and answers to all the relevant questions like the purpose of life, "who am I?", "why?", "how?" are all the fruits of self-realization.